The Force Factor | Releasing Creative Blocks
Getting back to painting feels like a long and winding road back to somewhere left behind long ago. A search for where I left off. I will most likely find Been There Done That if I get to the place before I quit, stopped myself, got lazy or whatever it is that I do when give-up. This time around maybe I will allow myself to continue and see what happens next – maybe it won’t even be painting this time. Whenever I feel the need to define myself as Real Artist I seem to require my final proof to be painting. I don’t know why painting has to be my point of reference for my own creative validity but I can’t seem to get around it.

Penguins living in my imagination.

In the past few weeks some paintings I did as long a thirty years ago have been returned to me. It’s been eerie and eye-opening to see them. They are mostly made-up landscapes and were all painted with the intent to look like a specific object or place even if it was just a place in my imagination. Do I want to do that again?

Here’s a running dialogue I recently had with myself in an attempt to bring some clarity to my “Why do I still want to paint?” question. I caught myself saying “I want to paint even more than I know what it is that I want to paint.” What’s that suppose to mean? I think I just want to paint again just for the joy of painting. Am I longing for the Process?  I think so and that’s good news. The process will be an opening or a path rather than creating an already pictured image. Painting won’t be limited to a picture of something already in my imagination. It seems scary to start painting something I can’t even see. Fear quickly shows up when  I seriously ask myself if I think I can still paint at all. Do I have the nerve to let painting be a vehicle into the Unknown. Take chances. Risk.  Maybe this will force me to express myself in some other way if I find that I can’t paint anymore.

“My advice is to paint the best way you can as much as you can, without being afraid to paint bad pictures, if your painting does not improve on it’s own, then there is nothing that can be done.” Monet

I just came across this quote from Monet that I had been saving for some reason. The point is to just get on with it…